To be whole, and become a powerful women, we must heal our own Inner, Divine Masculine. - S. Avant Stover

Of course, first we have to recognize it within us!

What does your “masculine” side have to do with your dedication to becoming more “feminine,” you ask?
A whole lot.

It’s the final turning of the key to your feminine power.

A heroine only arrives at her homecoming after she has integrated the “he” into her “SHE.”  An easy way to appreciate this is to think of a man who is in touch with his Divine Masculine, but not his feminine. A man like this is like a bull in a china shop, unbalanced, ungraceful, dangerous, and unable to meet the feminine outside of himself. He is a brute. So too with us.

I am seeing that most of us who come to women’s work live with our masculine side partially or even completely hidden from view.

Most of us have been wounded by our fathers, partners, bosses, male role models, or “The Patriarchy.” We think that the “masculine” is the problem, so we need to completely shun this part of ourselves, and only focus on our “feminine.”

Since we all have an inner “masculine” and “feminine,” “yin” and “yang” energies, this approach denies us exactly 50% of ourselves, a potentially tragic and very limiting way to live. The consequences of being out of touch with your masculine can be quite severe.

For instance, many women say they feel run down and depleted. “My masculine is just fine,” they say, “But what can I do to strengthen my relationship with my feminine?”

Such women (I can only say this because I’ve been there too), are not at all “fine” with their masculine. In fact, very few of us women are “fine” with our masculine, for a number of reasons (collective karmic wounding, cultural conditioning, limiting beliefs, unconscious resentments — the list goes on).

Most women are, however, used to being ruled (yes, RULED) by their inner Pushers, Perfectionists, Controllers, and Critics– a.k.a their Inner Patriarchs. He’s the one within us that shoves us, drives us to exert beyond our body’s instincts, and overrides our innate rhythms, pleasure, and desires. He is what brings us to women’s work in the first place!

Ask yourself right now: doesn’t your strongest and most brutal inner critical feel a little, well, prickish? More like an uncaring brute than a “catty” woman?

What most of us consider to be “masculine” is a deranged, patriarchal, ungrounded masculine. This is the part of us that thinks we need to work ourselves to the bone in order to be loved and successful. That believes being sensual, sexual, wild, and erotic creatures is bad. That the mind is king, and the body a slave. That more, faster, and bigger is always better. That we should be able to do it all, without complaint — mother, artist, worker, partner, citizen, and if we don’t, or can’t, we’ve done something wrong.

Does the Patriarchy exist outside of us? Is it real? From this perspective, the question itself is absurd, because we haven’t owned and healed it within ourselves. If we haven’t done that yet, what chance do we have of healing it in the world? Where would you say is the best place to start?

It can be quite disorienting and humbling when we finally get a whiff of the damage our Inner Patriarch is actually doing. That we have been our own worst enemies, that oppression hasn’t been happening “out there” but “in here”.

[And yes, institutional sexism and real-world oppression exists, and the ravages of a real, external Patriarchy have been well documented and addressed in the last few decades, everywhere from fashion to film to children’s toys. But that’s not what this work is about. The point is we will never heal what’s wrong outside of us if we can’t heal it inside, too.]

So what does Divine Masculine do, when it’s healthy, strong, and whole? Slow down before you keep reading. Can you answer that question? Maybe it’s easy. And maybe you have no idea. Where do you feel the answer? Where would you find the answer? How do you feel as you consider it?

How about this: it provides, protects, serves, and is an agent of Truth. He communicates clearly, sets boundaries (not barriers), and exerts the will that’s rooted in the Soul’s deepest desires. He does not force, push, manipulate, or control. He’s in touch with his heart, without collapsing into his feelings or the agendas of others. He must penetrate the world with his truth, and will never turn away from it.

He never, ever gives up his service to his Higher Purpose. From magic, he manifests.

When you are in touch with Him, you can protect against your Inner Patriarch. You can serve the deep desires and longings of your Feminine heart. You can speak up, on their behalf. You can create boundaries to safeguard them. You can act with clarity and efficiency, cutting away the “fat” of unnecessary distraction.  You can fully exert your power in the world, while doing no harm, to yourself or others.

What I’ve found in my own life is that there’s no way that I can create what I long to create, in life, love, or business, without healing this rift between my own inner Masculine & Feminine.

We need both.

Through this partnership, we become the Sovereign of our own lives. Not a Kingdom. Not a Queendom. But Sovereign, with both Masculine and Feminine. Inner freedom reigns, and we have all the resources we need to manifest our desires and serve the world in the ways that only we can. It takes both a Queen and a King to rule the territory of our minds and hearts.