The dark room was filled with the chinking of champagne flutes and the irreverent chatter of

the slightly tipsy. Elaborate, but faded and grubby baroque style wallpaper together with the

reddish, perhaps once plush, now worn and cigarette-smelling carpet was the disorienting

1970s Australian suburban club décor translation of an 18 th Century Parisian brothel. Round

tables were filled with women and men who were greedily allowing themselves to be taken

away with the sensual dreamlike quality of the evening – a welcome escape from

conservative and drab 21 st century Canberra. In this room no one was a mundane public

servant, or a desperate stay at home parent, or a poor university student, or a disengaged

spouse. In this room we were all lovers and artists and sensualists. The lights were dimmed

and a momentary hush fell over the room. Sugar Starr entered and without making eye

contact, moved to the cleared space at the front of the room and struck a dramatic pose with

deliberate solemnity. The room held its breath as the music began; and I could not take my

eyes off of her. She wore candy apple red – a flurry of feathers and lace and bondage style

straps scarcely holding in her generous curves and revealing tantalising glimpses of the most

delicious flesh. Platinum blonde hair immaculately styled – long, shiny, curled and coiffed

reminiscent of a 1950s sex kitten perfectly setting off her piercing blue eyes, extraordinarily

long fake lashes and her perfect peaches and cream complexion. Then her hips started to

sway slowly.

 

This was the first time that I witnessed Kelly, in the guise of her burlesque alter ego, Sugar

Starr, seduce an entire room of people. Her movements were an erotic mix of timid, playful,

confident, fierce and determined. She had mastered the art of seduction through attention to

the smallest details and held her audience utterly captivated in the moment through her

particular erotic form of storytelling. In that moment everyone in that room was madly in

love with her, desperate to experience her, be close to her, to drown in her energy. She took

us on a burlesque journey into intimacy and sensuality. But there was something different.

The beauty and the power in Sugar Starr was not how she seduced her audience but how she

seduced herself. Her pleasure in her own body and her own movements was the most

startlingly arousing aspect. Sugar Starr was not there to seduce us but to seduce herself and it

was revelatory for me. Sensuality, sex, seduction, attraction, intimacy begins and ends with

the individual – it is about pleasing oneself and if you invite another (or others) to witness

that, then that is truly powerful and truly gratifying.

 

I had met Kelly a few months earlier. A friend had recommended her to me, my friend

thought that I would benefit from Kelly’s yoga classes that focused on the nurturing of

feminine energy and also her private one on one sensuality coaching. My reasons for needing

Kelly were as clichéd as they can be. I was 33 and my marriage to the man I had been with

since high school had ended very messily. I was single for the first time since I was 15 years

old, left with two small children and I thought broken beyond repair. It is a common story

and equally heartbreaking for everyone whose story it is, however I was one of the lucky

ones, because serendipitously I stumbled upon Kelly. My friend had recommended a number

of healing pathways and practitioners, but it was Kelly who I was drawn to from the very

beginning. So I booked a coaching session.

 

I arrived with some trepidation. I have dabbled for years in yoga and some reasonably

mainstream forms of alternative therapies however this, even for me, was pretty out there. I

drove across to the other, unfamiliar, south-side of Canberra, to an out of the way, leafy little

business park where Kelly had a room to meet clients privately. I knew very little about her.

My friend had told me “Kelly is cool, you’ll love her” and my internet search had revealed

that she was a gorgeous mid-30s blonde woman who cryptically claimed on her website:

I am a Sensualist.

Love, Truth, Beauty, Freedom.

Unity. Fierce-Grace, Sacred-Union.

 

Obviously I wanted some of that.

 

The door opened, Kelly emerged and all of her warm, loving, sensual energy washed over

me. She took me into her room of animal fur rugs, candles, essential oils, sensual music,

goddess paraphernalia, tinkly jewellery, transparent flowing soft fabrics, breast massages,

deep guttural breathing, mythology, romance, temple dancing and the celebration of all things

feminine. And so began my own awakening, but this story is not about my story. This story is

about Kelly because her story is remarkable and she has the power to empower other people

by living her own truth. Her exploration, both on an academic and personal level, into

sexuality, female orgasmic energy and its connection to every individual’s sense of purpose,

creative spirit and higher being is scandalously entertaining and profoundly liberating. We all

have the potential to achieve mind-blowing satisfaction – not just in the bedroom, but in all

aspects of our lives.

 

At some point in time our relationship changed from Kelly being my therapist and yoga

teacher to us becoming joyfully intimate friends. Kelly is an enigma. She does not fit into any

modern categories that we can often put people. She is real and she is flawed, she can admit

when she is wrong. She is incredibly courageous and inspiring and is devoted to empowering

women and men and spreading the love… also it is really just a fucking good story.

 

This is Kelly’s story. It is my story. It is every woman’s story.

​

To be continued...